Sacrifice is Worth It

My dad always told me “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” I’d always liked to be well-planned. It was the reason I traded in my Chevy before I got married and got a mid-sized Nissan truck with a full size crew cab back seat; I was going to be a stepdad to a boy of about 10. It was the right decision.

Even when he was about 15 and would have a friend over, “Sport” would still sometimes rearrange the living room and employ seemingly every blanket and quilt in the house, plus the dining chairs and more, to create a huge “fort” to “camp out” in. And it was seemingly great fun to make a blanket fort in the back seat of my truck for pretty much any road trip.

Having not had any children before marrying—making us “Possible Blended Family configuration number 11,” I had not needed to consider any babies, children, or young adults in our weekend, vacation, or time off planning. That had all changed in my world. Now, when the opportunity arose, I often included Sport in my leisure time – taking him to the golf driving range, fishing (a little; fishing bores me most of the time…), running errands, and even on bigger trips like going to dig for diamonds at Murphreesboro – twice.

Whereas, before, my days off were mostly my own to plan, and vacations where what the adults wanted to do, that had changed. And it should have. When you are a dad or stepdad, that time when the kiddos are young and impressionable is short; it’s only a little window of time, and it is important. And it wasn’t that hard to sacrifice a little of my own wishes. It was more rewarding than anything.

Now Sport is grown-ish and more or less “launched” into the world. My days are more my own now to plan with my wife. But early on, maybe before we even married, we three had gone somewhere for the day – maybe to hike Mount Petit Jean, and after I took them home and went to my home, I was cleaning out the truck and found a little green toy frog. It was the type that may have come in a Happy Meal or maybe from a gumball machine. But somehow that little frog (it turned out to be red; I’m colorblind but stay with me), just endeared myself even more to my young stepson-to-be, and I kept it.

That little red/green frog sits on the dashboard of my truck now, nine years later, as a happy reminder of our little stepdad/ son adventure rips and when he was young and giggly and hilarious. Is it worth it to change your plans or plan your free time around the youngster(s)? IT IS! You can be a Better Dad.